The Verdict

Hello Again, Erin here.

I caved on Friday morning and did a pregnancy test. Friday was day 24 in my cycle, approximately 4 days before I’m due to get my period. Early days, but the First Response package promised 96% accuracy. Minutes later the answer: Negative.

Saturday morning I had a quick visit to the clinic to have blood taken, then the real wait began. Blood tests are true confirmation. They can detect a trace of the hCG hormone in the body that is stimulated by implantation. Home pregnancy tests check the level of hCG in the urine, which takes time to build up.

I went home, made myself a half decaf espresso with steamed milk, and turned on a movie. Into the Forest, a disaster film about two sisters who learn to survive on their own in their isolated woodland home after a massive power outage. Safe right? No babies or pregnancy reminders…wrong! I really hoped the test was positive.

Just before I took my dog out for a walk I got the call.

NEGATIVE

It hung in the air. I felt like I was in a bit of a fog for the rest of the day. Didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. But the questions came in, and little by ¬†little, it helped. So many people care. My mom called, my brother sent me the most kind text message “We’re sorry. We love you.” And I got a three-way hug (and wine) from my girlfriends that eve.

I’m lucky to have so many amazing people in my life. I’m ready to be a mom. It will happen. But its still ok to be sad right now.